november 23
“My Cherie Amour, lovely as a summer’s day
My Cherie Amour, distant as the Milky Way
My Cherie Amour, pretty little one that I adore
You’re the only girl my heart beats for
How I wish that you were mine
In a cafe or sometimes on a crowded street
I’ve been near you, but you never notice me
My Cherie Amour, won’t you tell me how could you ignore
That behind that little smile I wore
How I wish that you were mine
Je suis en amour avec Paul! Je ne peux pas m’en empêcher. Il est drôle, mignon, charmant, et à seulement une grande personne. Il me fait rire, pleurer (involontairement). Il me donne envie de hurler! Je m’aime quand je suis avec lui. Peu importe, je suppose qu’il est chef-over-heels, follement amoureuse de quelqu’un d’autre. Heeyoon pour être exact. Et je déteste copier James ici, mais elle est parfaite pour lui! (Bien que James parlait Abby et Rob et je parle Heeyoon et Paul.) Elle est intelligente, jolie, et la meilleure / pire de toutes, la Corée du Sud, tout comme lui. Oh, et comment pourrais-je oublier que son ex petite amie est asiatique. Cela fait juste je me demande si il n’est que dans les Asiatiques ou non. De toute façon, je sens que je n’ai aucune chance avec lui. C’est pourquoi je voudrais bien être asiatique. Peu importe quel type, tout allait faire. Chinois, japonais, coréens, indiens, taïwanais, tout type d’Asie ferait. Si j’étais asiatique alors je serais longs cheveux, droite jolie. Mais je serais probablement pâle qui serait triste. À moins que je n’étais Indien. Puis je être sombre et ont une longue et droite, beaux cheveux! So there. Je suppose que je voudrais être comme les Indiens ou quelque chose. Et parfois je me sens comme si je n’étais même d’Asie, je ne serait toujours pas avoir une chance avec lui. Ça me rend triste, mais je ne peux m’empêcher de me aimer quelqu’un. C’est impossible.
Maybe someday you’ll see my face among the crowd
Maybe someday I’ll share your little distant cloud
Oh, Cherie Amour, pretty little one that I adore
You’re the only girl my heart beats for
How I wish that you were mine
La la la la la la
La la la la la la ”
now
i used to write about my boyfriend a lot which i guess is cute since we’re dating now but it’s also kind of awkward because i was so head over heels for him. i guess it’s just one of those things where you really want something until you have it.
“N is dating Eric. I told everyone was over him but you know, It still kinda hurts when I hear them talk to and about each other. I’m totally happy for N though. You know why? Cuz she’s my bestie.
I think I’m coming to love J. I dunno. It’s not as if he’s ah-mazingly hott or anything (he is very attractive), but I love his personality. He’s always making me laugh. But I don’t think that he even notices that I’m of the female gender. Haha. Just kidding. I don’t think that he thinks of me romantically. I think I really like him though. And if I do, he’ll be only the second guy I’ve really like liked.
P.S. J is not James. I don’t think of James like that. He’s like a brother to me.”
*I don’t know who J is
june 16
“I’ve really thought and considered having a relationship with M. I don’t think we’d work out though. I don’t really think he likes me, even though he’s always looking out for me and complimenting me, and saying that I’m pretty and stuff. I think he’s just being nice, like how James calls me his cute little sister. I just don’t think that me and M are compatible, just like Margo and Peter.
W is very cute. I put a bow in his hair today and he didn’t look gay at awwlllll. He was so cute. I love hugging him. And he’s sooo skinny. And he’s just overall cute. He has the prettiest blue eyes. I love looking into them. Haha. I sound so lovestruck. Trust me, I’m not.”
*i’m not sure who margo and peter are but i’m pretty sure M is mark and W is weasley
june 16
“My last 2 crushes didn’t work out very well. Hood is a sticky situation that I’m not sure how to explain, and Eric was over before it even began. So I’ll start with Eric. I met him at a convention because Cassiddy and N brought him. I liked him, but I didn’t realize it until we were going home that day. I told Shari about it. But then the next day Shari told me that Sofie liked him. I was crushed. I didn’t even have a chance, so I got over it fairly quickly.
Things are quite different with Hood. I liked Hood for a while, and I told this guy who told him. That was the worst day of my life, because after that, Hood started treating me totally differently. I tried avoiding him at first, but it hurt everytime I saw his face. I really wanted to be close to him in some way so I tried to be friends, because he was already close friends with Shari. He totally shunned me. I tried for the longest time. Then I got really mad, and I finally just confronted him and asked him why he was so cruel to me, and he pretended like I wasn’t even there.
So I stopped talking to him and the next thing I know, he’s telling Shari how annoying I am. And he’s just droning on and on and on about it. And does Shari stick up for me? No siree! She tells him talk about something else. What a great sister. So I swore off of him from that day on and I didn’t talk to him for weeks until I explained this story to Angel and he was standing right there, and I kinda of went off on him and told him how he was a jerk and how much I hated his guts. He just smiled the entire time, then talked to Shari. Way to have my back sis.
The last time I looked at him, I didn’t feel the usually butterflies, though I did feel sorta fluttery. I guess the crush is wearing off. I’m moving on, I guess. Or maybe I’m getting closer to closure.”
*I originally thought Eric was a boy from elementary but it’s Alec
now
she paints a pretty picture
but the story has a twist
her paint brush is a razor
and her canvas is her wrist
she painted her pretty picture
but her picture had a twist
you see her mind was her razor
and her heart was her wrist
june 27
“i don’t like living here anymore. i feel left out. Like i’m outside looking in. Dad is trying to help her fit in but she’s fitting in here better than i ever did and i lived here all my life. i feel like she took my place in this family. annie spends most of her time with her and so does sandie but sandie never liked me any way. dad hardly pays attention to anyone else because he;s trying to make her comfortable here. :(“
july 21
“Yesterday I went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix with Erin…We actually went into the theatre and watched the movie without parental supervision. How cool is THAT?”
memory
i may have been bisexual in 7th grade because i really had a crush on this girl. im not sure now if it was actually a crush or if it was just admiration but she was everything that i wanted to be but wasn’t. she had a girlfriend and i was jealous of her girlfriend and her. and i used to have fantasies about doing stuff with her.
“OMG!! i am sickened by my sixth grade entries. they all disgust me. i hate kris and casey and for your info i never went out with kris!! I HATE HIM!”
